While this blog’s sole focus is no longer hair, it is a vital part of it and thus, I share a bit of my own hair-life on this blog as well.
My (official) hair story:
I began my hair care journey in high school after stumbling upon Long Hair Care Forum. I’ve always had a head of thick hair that was never shorter than Collar Bone Length, though never longer than arm pit length. I wanted to know if reaching longer lengths was possible and in my search of information, came upon the aforementioned site via Google.
For a time (high school) I was obsessed with length and growing out my hair, while texlaxed and it began replacing my other hobbies. Upon starting college, I realized my hair had become a shield, a sanctuary from the things about myself I didn’t like due to the internalization of negative messages about my “exotic” features, esoteric interests, and sincere personality.
I went from the extreme of hating my natural hair texture (straightening it to apologize to society for my already noncommercial features), to cutting off all of my chemically straightened hair and embracing the cult of the Napptural. I tried finding identity in my TWA, instead of letting it be what it truly was: Hair.
This lasted about a year and I returned to the opposite extreme yet again –bone straight hair. This time, however, I had gained a deep appreciation for afro-textured hair that wouldn’t be ignored.
As life moved me onward towards graduation, life with a capital “L” demanded more of my time and my hair lost out to the pursuits I truly love: art, writing, and so on. I began to relish them again.
My regimens became more and more simple. I started remembering what it was to be me. With the freedom that comes in college, away from the need to conform –bred into me during high school (despite being “One of those Theatre kids”)– I began seeing that both views of my hair were irrational: fearing my natural texture to all but worshiping it. Neither was balanced.
Having had large curls, waves, Scene/Emo hair, an Afro, a sleek, razor-edged bob, a pixie cut, and everything in between, I realized the common denominator had always been what was under it –-me. Nothing I did to my hair changed me, as a person. It may have changed how others interacted with me, to some degree but, I remained the same. I matured; I became more educated and so forth, as one does living life but, the Rachel with a TWA was the same as that with the bone-straight bob.
As a senior in college I transitioned for the second time to natural hair. Why? I liked it.
No other reason.
It is amazing, regardless of “race”, in the most pitiful of ways, how much out hair defines our femininity and with it much of our identity. Even more so for women of the African Diaspora whose texture was used as “proof” by the “science” of the last century of their sub-human status.
I’m not foolish enough to say my hair has no bearing on my self-image. Nor am I naïve enough to think, as I was the first time I Big Chopped that those around me, of whatever persuasion would be as enthusiastic about it as I was. I am so very pleased with myself that it no longer matters. That said, I may suffer moments of irritation, frustration and even sadness because of how I choose to wear my mane. Such is life.
Later on, I returned to tex-laxed hair and found it to be as enjoyable as my natural hair, sans the higher maintenance. I realized I do very much prefer longer hair.
My hair, at this point in my young life, is simply a part of the larger sum that is myself: Little Golden Lamb. Regardless what others choose to make of it. Relaxed/texlaxed OR natural.
I finally know what my hair likes and does not like. More importantly I know what I do and do not like. Though how to have all that I like, all at once, proves to be the difficult part.
At this time, I have no length goals, my hair will be allowed to grow until the length no longer suits my lifestyle or my features. At such a time, I may decide cut it.
As always, I will write reviews with an eye out for all textures and states of chemical altered-ness as I’ve been blessed to enjoy all of them –relaxed, texlaxed and natural.
My hair journey has taken many sharp turns in the last four years. I look forward to what lies ahead. The future is uncertain, but I know it will involve many wide-toothed combs and several hundred thousand gallons of conditioner.
Care to join me?
9 comments
Y
August 28, 2010 at 5:48 am (UTC -7)
Omg, lovely hair vid! Your hair is fierce!– in all stages! I especially love the natural stages
interesting journey! Thanks for sharing.
you’re in korea? for what? thats awesome!
(I’m a new reader, so I don’t know)
Little Golden Lamb
August 29, 2010 at 10:50 am (UTC -7)
Welcome, dear heart! ^_^ I relied to you comment with a post. Your screen name is included to help with searching, if you miss it on the homepage! It will also be under the Q & A category. ^_^
Little Golden Lamb
September 9, 2010 at 11:45 am (UTC -7)
I was teaching English at a private Academy.
Tia
August 30, 2010 at 1:10 pm (UTC -7)
You probably hear this all the time but you are a really great writer. Everytime you post stories like this I feel like I’m reading some great article in a magazine. I bet your college professors loved reading your work.
Little Golden Lamb
August 30, 2010 at 1:18 pm (UTC -7)
#^_^# Aww, thank you. You have me pegged, by the way. I did enjoy “showing out” in my schoolwork and essay tests. I liked writing research papers.
Van
September 24, 2010 at 4:04 am (UTC -7)
Every naturally curly haired girl can related to your story. I’m half Mexican/Half Puerto Rican with a head full of thick, natural curls. Up until high school I was consistently complimented on my hair. When I walked past people girls would sigh and whisper to their friends, “I want her hair!” (Never satisfied with what we’ve got!) b
Years of being cruel to my hair, combing it harshly, tons (tons!) of alcohol loaded conditioners and then some led to extreme damage. My hair started curling tighter instead of looser and I’m still chasing the looser curls. I got so tired of people asking me, “Did you cut your hair!” when it was the same length, merely with tighter curls that I tried a relaxing treatment that fried my hair and didn’t even relax it (relaxer is the worst thing for my strange brand of thin hair strands, thin but in abundance!) I’m treating my hair good these days, trying to bring back that healthy natural hair of old, trying to grow my hair as long as possible because it’s easier to style.
The thing I hate the most about being curly haired is that people ALWAYS say: “Your hair looks SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better straight, why don’t you straighten it more often!?!?” (I get my hair blow dried about twice per year when I trim it) sometimes even from my closest friends and family! Wow…thanks for saying you hate my natural hair and think I should burn it in remission!
So…rant aside! I love your blog, I shall continue commenting, reading, and enjoying each article! I love how you research your products, I’m the same kind of analytist. Use what works!
http://vanstorytime.tumblr.com/post/550761657/curly-hair-faq-its-alive
HAIR faq, for a laugh
http://www.thriftcore.com/2010/08/get-beautiful-clear-skin-with-food.html
List I made of my favorite home made skin care
Little Golden Lamb
September 25, 2010 at 8:06 pm (UTC -7)
Thank you for sharing! ^_^ I can most certainly relate!
tamar
December 27, 2010 at 9:13 pm (UTC -7)
you and your are gorgeous!
tamar
December 29, 2010 at 7:54 pm (UTC -7)
i meant you and your hair lol