Beloved readers, in keeping with my blog’s 2011 addition of “femininity” as a How to Be Swell Discipline, I thought it worthwhile to actually state my views on femininity as a whole, so the foundations for my posts will be clear.
I also hope it causes you to think about your own “femmdom creed”.
Have you really thought about femininity and what it really means to you?
You certainly don’t have to agree with mine, but you should have one of your own to know where you disagree and more importantly why.
Do you have fully articulated ideals or arguments? If not…why not? Perhaps you should consider taking some time to do so. It can be very helpful in gaining a more feminine manner to know what feminine actually means to you.
Any who! This won’t be terribly detailed, but hopefully thought provoking. Again these are all my views and I will elaborate on each on in its own separate post.
With that typed and read, let’s begin beloved readers:
1. It comes from the inside out. You can’t be full of inner chaos and have a GENUINE, TRUE, EFFORTLESS femininity. You may have the outside painted well enough, but it will difficult if not impossible to exude a warm and legitimate feminine air.
2. All women are feminine. I firmly believe this. There are different varieties of femininity, but all women are. It is important to find out what your brand of it is and to uncover it. Harsh lives, harsh times, and harsh words can cause us to engage in behaviors out of self-defense or habit that diminish the more obvious aspects of our unique femininity.
3. Being feminine requires being in touch with yourself as a woman, physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Some women actually don’t like being women. Be sure you haven’t let misogynistic messages in the media subconsciously take the pleasure of being feminine from you. It also means acknowledging that yes (Gasp!) men and woman are different. It is not easy being a woman, I realize this. In some countries that is quite an understatement and I do not condone or excuse violence against women in any form.
4. It can be learned. It’s not a matter of “some girls have it and some don’t”. Some have had life experiences that don’t allow it to flow as easily as others or it was squashed subconsciously, ignored for various reasons, or developed in only one way, causing it to be lack dimension. You can make up for lost time!
5. It requires discipline. Keeping your life as stress-free as possible; building healthy relationships; staying emotionally healthy; keeping up one’s hair, nails, clothes however you choose wear them; staying fit and healthy; finding a workout that works for you; preparing nutritious food and not relying on fast food; learning make-up techniques to enhance oneself and so forth takes due diligence and yes they are NECESSARY and have VALUE (because you do!). It doesn’t have to be a misery and won’t be, when everything you do is an extension of the inner balance and connection to your feminine self.
6. Yes, appearance is a part of being feminine. Yes, what looks feminine to the general public is influence by culture, history, and politics (none of which is particularly kind or fair). You need to find for yourself the balance point between you culture and your true feminine self and what you think it is. You don’t need long flowing hair, straight hair, light hair, fair skin, dark skin, large breasts, no breasts, hips, no hips, this or that size to be feminine, even though some of those attributes may fit the “Standard of Beauty” of your culture. Don’t fall prey to them, but don’t dismiss them either! There are feminine ways to do all styles; you just have to find the balance point.
7. It should be enjoyed. You should enjoy being feminine. If it is a drudgery methinks you are not quite in tune with yourself yet.
8. Being feminine does not = being weak. Please leave all stereotypes at the door. They often become excuses. Excuses and femininity do not commingle.
9. Please don’t confuse sexy/hotness/flirting/being a coquette with being feminine. You can have a powerful, reserved femininity, a bubbly femininity, a bright, forceful femininity etc. You may choose to indulge in fishnets short hemlines, seven-inch heels, and plunging necklines, if you wish. They are ABSOLUTELY NOT required.
10. It is never too late. You should always be improving your mannerisms, posture, speech, self-awareness, generosity, style, hobbies, etc. Better late than never! Truly feminine women make other women feel that they can be more feminine too. It should be infectious, at times convicting, and never discouraging!
Again, these are my views.
Femininity posts will start taking points from etiquette books from the beginnings of recorded history to the present, across various cultures, and various tax brackets to offer opinions other than my own, provide useful information, and to prompt more introspection on various topics.
5 comments
SweetBonita
November 9, 2011 at 1:01 pm (UTC -7)
i REALLY enjoyed your views/points on what femininity means to you. There are some great points in here that I need to remind myself of from time to time…
Little Golden Lamb
November 9, 2011 at 4:47 pm (UTC -7)
I’m glad! ^_^
DragonPearl
December 8, 2011 at 8:52 pm (UTC -7)
I love your blog and I think this particular piece is quite impressive. Keep sharing your thoughts.
Little Golden Lamb
December 9, 2011 at 3:03 pm (UTC -7)
Thank you for the encouragement!
Pat
December 30, 2011 at 9:30 pm (UTC -7)
Awesome message!